Andersen in 1862, carte-de-visite. Kilde: Det Kongelige Bibliotek
Andersen wrote in his diary on July, 10, 1864: ” Anguish and sorrow take me out on to deep waters -shall I be lifted up there, or shall I sink? Religion is my light, my salvation, my faith. Do I believe that God and Jesus are one, as the believers want them to be; then the Virgin Mary must be the chosen one among humans, then in our humble way it is so near at hand to pray to her to plead with God on our behalf . What thoughts I have! God, my Lord! make thy light shine in me and have mercy on me, I am about to let go of you to whom I should hold on with the faith of a child.”
And on May, 2, 1866: “How strange- in anguish and suffering I am unable to pray to God, I believe in a destiny, a necessity, but in joyful and happy days God is very near to me, then I have prayers and gratitude, then there are humble thanks of bliss in my soul and my thoughts.”
Having just been informed of the death of Carsten Hauch, a Danish friend and fellow-poet, Andersen wrote in his diary on March 5, 1872: “Is he now dust and ashes, dead, extinguished, put out like a flame which does not exist any more? O God, my Lord! Can you let us disappear completely? I have a fear of that, and I have become too clever- and unhappy .
Andersen: What was he like? by Elias Bredsdorff Nr. 8 a. Trust and doubt